You might be fine with coaching and monitoring conceptually, but when the time comes to actually do it you can find yourself out-of-sorts. Suddenly you seem to have lots of other work that you really need to catch up on before you start coaching. Just as soon as that’s finished you can be ready to coach. If you’re really good at this, you can establish “getting ready to get ready” activities that serve to never get you out and coaching.

Why is coaching so scary and frightening? How do you tell someone else what to do? Worse, how do you tell them that what they are doing is wrong?

There’s the flaw that causes the fright: stage fright! Telling is all monologue and all the pressure is on you! Don’t tell. Telling is not giving feedback. Ask. Asking begins a discussion that leads to a conversation which is dialogue. That’s giving feedback within our framework of coaching, which is the activity of working one-on-one with an individual for the purpose of self-development (see Part One of this series).

Think of a good coach – back to sports we go! I remember taking golf lessons — not necessarily a fond memory! The leader board at the LPGA has nothing to fear from me! I’d take a swing, look at the golf pro and he’d ask, “Where was your head Mary Beth?” to which I’d quickly reply, “I don’t know. Where was it?”

He rarely let me get away with that. He’d ask again, “No, think about it. Review the swing. Where was your head?” We’d do that with my elbow, my hip, my hand position, etc. Nothing was where it was supposed to be, but the feedback he gave me wasn’t “telling,” it was “asking.” What the student comes to know for herself is powerful learning. Masterful.

There are volumes on the subject of learning to give excellent feedback. I’m quite certain you can find articles with titles like “The Eighteen Principles of Providing Feedback” or “The Fourteen Fundamentals of Cutting Edge Coaching and Feedback.” Pardon me but after about 3 steps, I’m lost and I’m tired of putting the steps on the photocopier and reducing them to a “wallet-sized, easy-to-carry and refer to” copy! So here’s your 4-Step Formula for Giving Feedback. (Yes, even I added a step for a total of four but you’ll soon see how it’s actually just three – just a little slight of hand!)

4-Step Formula for Giving Feedback
Step One: Ask a question.
Step Two: Listen to the answer.
Step Three: Repeat steps One and Two (not really a “new” step)
Step Four: Offer “ideas” as needed.

Sound too simple? In a way, yes, because developing the talent in your team is still “work,” but this formula helps remove the “fright of feedback.” Let’s try out the steps.

A call has just finished. Your rep completes the database record and turns to you and asks, “Well, how did I do?” In the past you might have gone ahead and answered this question which starts you on “telling.” Instead, answer the question with a question. “How did it feel to you?”

Let’s see some possible dialogue flow:

Rep: I guess it felt ok. Do you have any feedback for me on where I could do better?
Coach: Why was it “ok” and not “terrible” or “terrific?”
Rep: Oh, I don’t know, really. I answered her question alright but I wouldn’t say she was thrilled that she called today.
Coach: Was there a chance to add anything that would have achieved a “thrilled I called” response from her?
Rep: You know, not really. That was a straight forward question and I answered it. I didn’t check her history file though while I had her on the phone. When I put the notes in from the call I saw where she has an application on file with us for a loan, and I could have mentioned that or offered to check on the status of it for her.

Notice that the formula feeds on itself beautifully. As you listen to the answer from your question, your very next question is formed from that answer. Now you have a conversation where the student is learning, for herself, where she is in her skills and where she can go. What an improvement from “telling” feedback that informs the rep what she needs to do “better.”

Take a look at “telling” feedback:

Rep: Well, how did I do?
Coach: Not bad.You need to open the history screen though during the call and not wait till you’re putting in the notes after the call is over. Had you done that you would have seen that she had an application in process with us, and you could have given her a status update on it. That would have been better service to the customer.

So, all you need is a handful of good starter questions and the rest is born out of conversation. If your reps are likely to start the coaching process by asking how they did, then you already have a handle on what your first question is. What if they get used to you doing that and suddenly turn to you and say, “That was a great call, wasn’t it?” If you agree with their assessment, smile in agreement and then ask, “Tell me why it was great – what happened?” If you don’t agree, don’t smile and ask the same question. They’ll understand your question just the same.

If you are the first person to start the feedback process, here are a handful of questions for you to be ready with. Most of them will require some customization from your end based on your callers or products and services, but you’ll get the gist:

• “How did you like that call, Charlie?”
• “How did that call go for you, Linda?
• “What seemed to work really well for you in that call, Sharon?”
• “Tell me about that caller … can you describe him/her from the picture in your minds’ eye?”
• “What did you do differently this time, Ron?”
• “What happened, John, when you mentioned the extended coverage plan?”
• “When the call started and he asked his first question, what popped into your mind?”
• “If you could do that call over again, what would you change?”

If you meet with the sort of success we do, you’ll hardly ever be “telling!” You and your rep together will be discussing, diagnosing and determining development opportunities. When you do “tell”, remember the concepts of “standards,” “styles” and “ideas” (see parts Two and Three of this series).

Next installment – Part 5 – Personal Approach Needs and Extra Vocabulary tips for the Coach!